U there?

Have you ever felt the feeling of being left out? When you want to be a part of the action, the party, the fun, the thing to do or the place to be and all you get is your loneliness in the crowd. Its that extremely excruciating position where you are there but you are not really there. You exist, albeit in a different realm of existence.

I was once not selected in a cricket team. I love the sport. I mean I am completely insane about it to the extent that I can watch old test matches ball-by-ball. I got depressed and didn’t eat for two days when India crashed out of the World Cup in the first round.

It really really really hurt when I didn’t see my name figure in that list of names. I saw people leaving for the gymkhana. There were others who weren’t selected but they went for the match anyways just as spectators. I couldn’t get myself to go. I hate being a substitute. I had waited for that moment for two years and it almost came to me and evaded me.

I can still feel that helplessness. I sat out the whole day in my room.

Its so strange na. If you are on the other side, you really wouldn’t care too much about someone who isn’t part of the action you are enjoying. Oh there must be some reason why he/she isn’t a part of the fun. Cest la Vie n all that.

Life suddenly seems very unfair the moment you realise you are the excluded one too. All of life’s injustices and so called unfair moments come back to you. Life suddenly seems extremely unfair. You realise, life has only been unfair. If someone else has gotten something you haven’t, its always been easy for them, born with a silver spoon, rich well connected uncle or whatever. But you are the unfortunate one who has been heaped upon with life’s misfortune and luckless existence.

No I don’t intend to get philosophical about this queer situation because we all have our own mechanism to deal with something like this. I just accept it and move on. I mean, what can I really do. No gyaan. Just try not to let too much of heartburn happen, be candid about it and move on. But it definitely screws your happiness for the time being.

Keep walking dude.

The other side...

I love reading the newspapers. Nothing like sitting alone on a Sunday afternoon and relishing the features, special stories etc etc in the papers. Though that doesn’t happen too often.

They say newspapers are the mirror of society, a reflection of the zeitgeist, showing the general mindset of the masses, the general goings on, the wheelings and dealings, information-communication-entertainment or the other way around and loads more.

Then we have the stories.

And sometimes I wonder if there is another side. I don’t doubt or discredit the journalistic capabalities of the scribes but my Rashomonesque curiosity eggs me on to think beyond the obvious.

Was Ganguly’s inclusion in the team merely on his meagre performances in the domestic circuit? Are you really telling me that all those other batsmen out there in the wilderness who score tons of runs consistently every season are not worthy of a look in? Take the case of Amol Muzumdar of Mumbai, the mainstay of the batting. Years of consistent performance have not given him a look in. Maybe the left leaders just couldn’t see their wonder boy out fo the team. Maybe Sharad Pawar had other implicit pressures or maybe Prince of Kolkata is really irreplaceable.

Who knows.

Not saving the world!!!

We wakeup every morning and go to work and revel in the fact that we have a job. And that we have a very good chance of making a career. We are happy in the fact that we can pay our own bills and for a change you don’t have to butter up mom or dad for the slick new cell phone or some new fangled gadget.

But lets face it. We are not creating a cure for AIDS nor are we doing stuff that will be written about someday by someone in edits, op-eds or some insane thesis. Is our job really that great? No not really on an individual level. On a very universal level, we all moving like a herd. Same direction, same ambitions, same self-help crap to egg us on whenever our spirits are on the wane and the same issues in different camouflages hounding us.

But there are some people who do make a difference to our lives. I am not talking about the doctors who cure patients and the engineers who create environment friendly engines. I am talking about those unsung heroes who will never be entitled to a Nobel prize and the closest they shall get to appreciation is probably a paycheck that arrives on time.

One such profession for me is the BMC workers. These are the guys who keep the drainages clean and ensure that when we go to the loo in the morning, we can download peacefully and not worry about waste disposal. It takes something to go down into those morbid manholes which emit a repelling stench and actually do the clean up job that needs to be done. I wouldn’t do the job for a million dollars (Now don’t calculate how much that is in Rupees…so typically us!!!).


These guys still go on with the job, day in and day out. And mind you, many of these are graduates from good colleges but have stuck to this job because either father did it and he got a matchbox size accomodation as a perk and so the son was expected to take over the mantle and keep the shelter the family has had for years.

Its quite amazing how someone can actually do that for years and years. I might be sounding naïve but then I still have that childlike wonder alive in me. This job really is the most underestimated job and definately most unappreciated. Thankless would be an understatement.

And we revel in a great appraisal.